Worrying that your spouse might be financially unfaithful is an extremely stressful and difficult experience. If this is a concern, we encourage you to first click here for the list of 20 questions you should ask yourself before confronting your partner.
If you’ve already considered these questions and are still anxious, here are some things you can do:
Ask for online access to credit and bank accounts.
Download full statements for a representative period of time. We suggest at least six months. If online access is not available, get statements from the mail. Make copies for yourself, preferably electronic copies, by scanning.
Review transactions and note:
- Large cash withdrawals and the location of ATM usage, you may be able to pinpoint the destination of the cash withdrawals if in close proximity to strip club as an example
- Large debt or credit transactions:
- Location of restaurant, bar and hotel expenses. Large restaurant or bar bills could indicate your spouse was not alone.
- Large retail store expenses, say Tiffany’s, might be indication of gifts being purchased for someone else or spending addiction. If you suspect a spending addiction look around the house for clothing with tags still on it either in bags or even hanging in the closet.
Get your credit report.
It is possible for your spouse to open credit cards on your credit without your knowledge or consent. Go to CreditKarma.com or www.annualcreditreport.com to get a free copy of your report and look for any accounts you are not familiar with. If you find more credit cards than you were previously aware of this could be indication of large balances and growing indebtedness.
Compare your family expenses to net incomes and estimate what you should have in savings.
This may be the quickest way to confirm there are large amounts of missing money or unnecessary indebtedness. If your family’s net income after taxes is $10,000 per month and your expenses are $7,000 per month there should be $36,000 of available savings in a given year. If there is no money in savings or investments, you may have reason to be suspicious.
Can anyone help me?
If all of these steps fail to return the answers you seek, consider hiring a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at Cross Roads Divorce Advisors to analyze the family financial picture and uncover financial infidelity.
This information is not intended to be a substitute for individualized legal advice. Please consult your legal advisor regarding your specific situation.
Lou Falvo is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and CIMA® (Certified Investment Management Analyst) who assists clients by evaluating the tax and financial aspects of divorce. Lou is dedicated to reducing the burden of each client by thoroughly examining the financial elements of the client’s divorce, with a keen focus on what is in his or her best interests. Contact Lou to find out how he can assist you with your divorce proceedings at lfalvo@crossroadsdivorce.com or (585) 542-2382.